Grieving a MAiD Death: A Caregiver’s Perspective on Peer Support

Editor’s Note: We extend our sincerest gratitude to our community member for sharing their deeply personal journey through grief, love and healing in this five-part blog series. Their candid reflections have offered invaluable insights into the complexities of grief, especially in the context of MAiD, and have provided much-needed comfort and understanding for those navigating similar paths. This final post marks the conclusion of the series, but the lessons shared will undoubtedly resonate with readers long after. We are grateful for the author’s vulnerability and willingness to take us on this emotional journey. Thank you for being a part of this powerful conversation.

When I first found myself in the position of supporting a loved one through their decision to pursue MAiD, I never anticipated how complex the grief would be after their death. My partner’s choice to end their suffering was something we discussed deeply, and ultimately, it was a decision made with clarity and purpose. But even with that clarity, I was left grappling with a grief that felt unlike anything I had ever experienced.

As a caregiver, my role had always been to support, advocate, and manage. But when the final day came, I wasn’t sure who to turn to. I felt alone, even though I knew there were others who could understand. That’s when I turned to peer support through Bridge C-14.

The first thing that struck me about joining a peer support group for people grieving a MAiD loss was the overwhelming sense of being understood. There’s an isolation that comes with this kind of grief, not because you’re unsupported by your loved ones, but because the loss itself doesn’t always fit into society’s typical grief narrative. Most people don't know how to approach it, and many will never fully understand the complexities of your emotions unless they've walked the same path.

What surprised me the most was how relieved I felt simply by being around others who had been through the same thing. The shared understanding was so profound. I wasn’t the only one who felt a mix of sadness and relief. I wasn’t the only one who wrestled with guilt, or who had moments where I questioned if I’d done enough to support my loved one, even though I knew in my heart that their choice was what they wanted. It was freeing to hear someone else voice the same worries, the same conflicts, the same questions.

And, in those conversations, I learned that these emotions - relief, sadness, guilt - are part of the journey, not something to be ashamed of. Everyone’s grief is different, but there is something undeniably healing about sharing that grief with someone who isn’t going to judge you or offer unsolicited advice. Instead, there’s a gentle affirmation: “It’s okay to feel everything you’re feeling.”

One of the most powerful things I’ve found through peer support is how it’s become a safe space to process my emotions without fear of judgment. Grief after MAiD is often complicated by conflicting feelings - grief for the loss of a loved one, guilt for feeling relief that they’re no longer suffering, and even anger or resentment at the circumstances that led us to this point.

When I shared these thoughts in the session, it was like a weight was lifted. No one in the group made me feel like I was wrong for feeling relief or conflicting emotions. Instead, others shared how they, too, had felt those things and how they had worked through those complexities. That sense of mutual empathy, where we could validate each other’s feelings, was something I hadn’t realized I was missing until I found it.

For many of us, a MAiD death often brings a sense of finality that can make it harder to navigate conversations with friends or family. There’s a fear of being misunderstood, or of someone trying to ‘fix’ your grief rather than sit with you in it. But in the peer support group, I didn’t have to explain myself. People just got it.

However, even though peer support was immensely helpful, it wasn’t without its challenges. The most difficult part, I think, was learning to trust the process. At first, I felt hesitant to open up fully. My grief was still raw, and I wasn’t sure how comfortable I would be sharing everything I felt with a group of strangers. But over time, I realized that peer support is a slow, steady process. It takes time to build trust, both in the group and in myself.

Another challenge I encountered was that grief is a personal experience, and while the shared understanding of MAiD-related loss was comforting, everyone’s journey through grief is different. The emotions others were working through weren’t always the same as mine, and sometimes, I struggled to reconcile my feelings with theirs. At times, I found myself wondering if I was grieving “the right way” or if my emotions were too complicated.

But this, too, was part of the process. What I came to understand is that grief doesn’t have a timeline, and it doesn’t look the same for everyone. The support of others can guide you through, but ultimately, the grief process is your own, and there’s no "right" way to do it. It’s about taking each day as it comes and finding ways to move through it with patience and self-compassion.

In the end, the most profound benefit of peer support through Bridge C-14 has been the connection.

It’s hard to overstate how valuable it has been to sit in a circle with others who understand the nuances of grief after a MAiD death. Their support has been a lifeline, offering comfort, understanding, and reassurance when I needed it most.

I’ve learned that peer support doesn’t erase the pain, but it can make it more bearable. It’s been a place to explore my grief at my own pace, share my experiences, and feel the healing that comes from being seen and heard.

If you’re a caregiver grieving a MAiD loss, I urge you to consider peer support through Bridge C-14. It’s a space where your grief can be validated, your emotions can be explored, and you can begin to heal, surrounded by people who know exactly what it’s like to walk this difficult road.

- Submitted by a Bridge C-14 Community Member

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If this reflection resonates with you, we invite you to share your own experiences. Your story could help others feel less alone in their journey. If you're interested in contributing, please reach out to info@bridgec14.org - we’d love to hear from you.